If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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