I'm really into asian looking animals
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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