you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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