Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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