Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So much Jack, so little girl.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Randomize