im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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