im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
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Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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