i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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