as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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