Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You ate ashes out of my bong
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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