I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize