Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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