Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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