I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
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