3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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