Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize