It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize