You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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