She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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