I am puke
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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