i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize