Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize