I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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