wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize