You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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