i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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