great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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