Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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(334): View more from Alabama

You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.

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(817): View more from Texas

Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?

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