i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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