are you still at the devil's house?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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