I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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