I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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