I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I want to be your penis for a week.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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