so that wasnt chicken after all
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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