I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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