Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize