Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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