He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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