Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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