I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize