I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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