Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
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I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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