haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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