party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize