Don't make out with my wife yet
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize