please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize