Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize