Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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