Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize