i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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