She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize