Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize